Meeting Jay

It was 1961, I was eleven, and I didn't want to meet him. Truth is, I didn't have much respect for stateside kids. They were always terribly flawed is some way.

Like: They couldn't go barefooted.
Or, they couldn't climb trees.
Or, they were afraid of bugs.
Or, they didn't know how to swim very well.
Or, they didn't like the idea of walking a couple of miles to get to a beach.
Or, they were whiny and complained about most everything.
Or, worst of all, they didn't have any imagination.

Jay's mom had arrived a couple of months early to set up a household. Her husband and son were to follow at the end of the school year. Because the  population of St. John was so small, everybody knew everybody and the the arrival of new people was both a curiosity and a change of scenery. Betty fit right in. She was colorful, talented, and friendly. It wasn't long before she was hobnobbing with other mothers, which meant I soon learned she had a son just my age. She was positive we'd get along great and that I'd just love him.

Of course, I knew better.

Fourth of July came around and I was running around in the park in Cruz Bay, along with a lot of other kids. There was all kinds of stuff happening. Food booths and tables were wafting the aromas of whelk fritters, conch chowder, and kallaloo (to name just a few) into the air. A steel band was playing. Beer and alcohol was flowing. Adults were visiting. It was a wonderful crowded, noisy, mishmash.

In the midst of all that Betty spotted me, called me over, and grabbing me by my arm said, "Jay's here! Let me introduce you."

Being raised to be polite to my elders, I couldn't get away. But I was cringing inside. We'd be going to the same school. We'd have to see each other every day. And I KNEW, I wouldn't like him. Experience had already taught me that stateside kids were whoosies.

Now, I was short for my age and a slow grower.

My sister, Erva, and I, in 1960 a year before I met Jay. She's about 14, I'm about 10. When standing next to her, people who didn't know me thought I was maybe 6 or 7. This irritated me to no end because it caused people to treat me like a baby. 

Back to the story... So there I am being pulled along by Betty and when she pointed to where Jay was standing by the old cannon, my first thought was, "Oh my god, what a little dwarf."

At the sound of his name being called, he turned and our eyes met. At 11 neither of us understood what was happening or had the words for it, though years later we talked about it.

Before we ever spoke a word,  we recognized each other. It was like like we were old friends who'd known each other before in another life and were absolutely thrilled to be together again. It was powerful and immediate.

From that moment on we were pretty much inseparable and the ratio in our heights remained the same into adulthood.

I have four pictures of us in this basic stance. That's my dog, Anna, behind us.

Did you have a childhood BFF? If you did, how did you meet? Are you still friends? 

On Friendship

I decided to return to the blogging community today for one reason, it's the birthday of my childhood best friend who died suddenly last year. 

Jay had a profound impact on my life and I intend to share a few stories of our adventures in future blogs. 

He was as much a part of my life as my family.

He was a natural born comedian who could make anyone laugh. His imagination was the most imaginative of anyone I've ever known. He was pretty much fearless and uninhibited when it came to putting on a persona and running with it.

In honor of Jay, and because it is Thursday, I've decided to share with you a list of synonyms, alternatives as it were, for the word

FRIENDSHIP

I have added "friendship" to my list of over-used words, even though I don't think it's a word you can over-use.

In fact, I think it's a word that isn't used enough.

***

accord, acquaintanceship, affection, affinity, agreement, alliance, altruism, amiability, amicability, amity, association, attachment, at home with, attraction

bear good will, be acquainted with, befriend, benevolence, bond, bonhomie, brotherhood

camaraderie, charity, chumminess, civility, closeness, coalition, collegiality, comity, community, communion, companionship, company, comradeship, concord, confraternity, consideration, consonance, cordiality, cordialness

devotion

empathy, esteem

familiar/familiarity, favor, favoritism, fellow feeling, fellowship, fondness, fraternity, fraternization, free and easy, friendliness, fusion

generosity, good-fellowship, good will, good understanding

hand in hand with, hand in glove, harmony, have a leaning toward, have dealings with, have the ear of, hold communication with

keep company with, kindliness, know

in one’s good graces, intimate/intimacy, intercourse

league, like-mindedness, liking, link, love

mutual affection

neighborliness/neighborly

on good terms,

pact, partiality, peace, philanthropy

rapport, regard, relationship, respect

selflessness, sentiment, shake hands, sisterhood, sociability, society, sodality, solidarity, sorority, sympathy/sympathize with

thick, thick as thieves, tie, tolerance

understanding, unhostile, union, unity, unselfish

warmth, welcomeness, well met

Here's a nice song about friendship by Bruno Mars. 
I like that the pictures show a girl and boy. 
Pass it on.

Saying Good-bye to Jay

I got the word over the week-end. No need for condolences. We will rejoice in his life.

 In Memory of my best friend

 

 Jay Gordon Chapman, July 31st 1950 - August 17, 2013

I've mentioned Jay a few times on my blog as my childhood best friend. But I haven't really shared stories of our exploits because Jay and I lost touch. Our lives took different paths and I didn't feel comfortable writing about him without his permission. But that has changed now.... Stories will be shared in time.

Jay was a brilliant natural comedian. He could easily have held his own on "Whose Line is it Anyway" and had the other participants peeing their pants. More than once he had me (and others) literally on the floor rolling, holding my sides, laughing so hard I'd be gasping for air saying, "Stop! Please stop!" His imitation of a crab scuttling sideways or a lizard doing push-ups were priceless. Then there were his various personae:

Zack Stone. Serial killer or Kevin Costner impersonator?

Jay, on right, as Dr. Nasty.

No caption needed.

And my favorite: The wildman.

He was a natural wood carver and carved walking sticks, at one point taking commissions and carving sticks with specially requested designs.

Jay was an excellent dancer with great rhythm. He played a mean set of spoons and for many years played percussion in a number of small jazz bands.

Jay, on right, playing tamboura with our friend John, on sitar.

He was a fine cook.

One of his *magical* abilities was how he could to take away headaches. There was something in his touch, he could pulled the pain right out of your head.

He made everybody laugh.

May you make the angels laugh as well.

Good-bye my dear sweet friend. I would not be who I am, would not be the writer, had you not been in my life. I have no doubt that we will meet again one day.

I dedicate "Blackbird" to you and the day we first listened to The White Album together. This is a lovely cover by Sarah McLauchlan.

Count Jay de Booger has left the building.

Six Impossible Things

This is an Occasionally Random Post

It was the White Queen, from Through the Looking Glass, who said:

"When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

I'd like to thank everyone who stopped by Monday-Wednesday to give me words of encouragement and virtual hugs. It means a lot.

You see, my childhood best friend is dying and the news has taken me by surprise. We met right around the time we turned eleven and were an instant dynamic duo.

In honor of Jay, I've decided to believe in six impossible things. It is something he would definitely approve of.

1. I'm sure the Magic Pool is real because it took us to many fantastic places where we had many fabulous adventures.

2. It is possible to make a perfect score with a Kurplunk Bomb.

3. We will have lunch with George Harrison and Jimi Hendrix.

4. Someday, everyone in the Bish Mob will being together again and we'll stage another mock fight at Trunk Bay.

5. I'll win a round at the Annual Coke Bottle Cap Batting Contest.

6. I'll remember everything and forget nothing.

And this bonus.

7.Someday  I'll be funnier than you.

Nope, sorry, that last one truly is impossible. 

Jay, making me laugh, like always. Around 1978.

It's okay to leave, my friend. I'll breathe your air for you.