Lies, Lies! It's All Lies!

And the truth is....

1. I once hitch-hiked from Los Angeles to San Francisco. I've done very little hitch-hiking in my life. Around 1972 me and this guy (we were hippy types) hitch-hiked from Crescent Beach (on the east coast of Florida) to Gainsville, a distance of about 80 miles. We had a very spooky experience when a truck full of red-neck types passed us, turned around, passed us again and shouted nasty things at us. We thought they were going to stop and maybe beat us up or kill us. But they roared off after the third pass. It was very scary. Oh, did I tell it was raining at the time and we were cold and wet?


2. I spent a summer crewing on a sailing yacht in the Caribbean. Growing up in the islands did not make me a sailboat person. Sure I've been sailing, plenty of times, but I never crewed, only passengered. I don't know a halyard from a bowline, though I do know a jib from a mainsail.


3. I absolutely LOVE liver and onions. This is a total, absolute lie. I can't even stand the smell of liver cooking. Everyone else in my family loved it, but not me. Over the years Mom attempted to get me to eat it and even tried disguising it. Like once she ground some up, mixed it with hamburger and made a meat loaf. But I could smell it long before it got to my mouth. That was her final valiant effort after which she always boiled up a couple hot dogs for me when she decided to cook liver.


4. I was bitten by a bat and had to get rabies shots. Nope, never happened. But we did have a pet bat for a while. Mom was given a baby bat that had been found and we took care of it, feeding it milk through an eyedropper. I can still remember the sound of its little teeth scrinching on the glass. As it got older it ate dead flies we caught, bits of raw hamburger, and fruit. Erva even took it to school. All day it hung upside down on a chain around her neck. That caused quite a stir because West Indians (at the time) had a lot of superstitions about bats and were, for the most part, afraid of them.


5. I have had half of my colon removed. This is true. About three years ago I had to have emergency surgery to remove a blockage. About half of my colon was removed along with several inches of my small intestine. Luckily it wasn't cancer. But I did learn that I have Crohn's Disease. So far I've managed to keep it under fairly good control and am doing well. I can now say with all seriousness that I am a crone with a semicolon.


6. I go parasailing every year when I go home to the islands. This is something I would like to do. Maybe some day I will.


7. I am allergic to birds. I am not allergic to birds, nor anything else that I know of.