Blog Schedule

I post on Monday with an occasional random blog thrown in for good measure. I do my best to answer all comments via email and visit around on the days I post.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

IWSG, The Real America, Being Thankful

Posting the First Wednesday of every month, the Insecure Writer's Support Group, is the brainchild of Alex Cavanaugh. YOU can sign up HERE to participate.

Every month a question will be posed that may prompt you to share advice, insight, a personal experience or story. Remember, the question is optional. You can write about anything that relates to your writing journey.

Let's give a warm welcome to our co-hosts:  Jemima Pett, Beth Camp, Beverly Stowe McClure, and Gwen Gardner! 

This month's question is: When you think of the term working writer, what does that look like to you? What do you think it is supposed to look like? Do you see yourself as a working writer or aspiring or hobbyist, and if latter two, what does that look like?

I'm not a serious working writer. I'm lazy, a procrastinator, and not very consistent. So, I guess that puts me in the hobby camp. Does that bother me, or make me feel inferior, or make me doubt my writing ability? No.

Okay, that's out of the way, on to other things. 

At the beginning of the year I was excited at the prospect of going home this month to the Virgin Islands to visit my sister, attend my 50th class reunion, and generally hang out of family and friends. I was going to be gone a month. Of course all of that has changed 
So, today, I'm going to repost something from three years ago, the last time I got to go home. It's long, so skip it, if you want. It's also kind of a prophetic.

The Real America

I don't use this blog to be political. But in the wake of Charlottesville, I have a story to tell. And this is without a doubt, the longest post I've ever written

I grew up in a white minority in the Virgin Islands. In 1955, my sister and I were the first (and only) white kids at the public school on St. John. I was one of six white kids in my high school graduating class. While I was in the islands last month eight of us were able to get together for dinner.
We are a beautiful rainbow.

The older I get the more grateful I am that I was raised in the Virgin Islands and that my family has been in the area over 100 years. My sister still lives on St. Thomas and I have cousins who live on St. JohnSt. Thomas, and Puerto Rico. We are a multi-racial, multi-lingual, multi-ethnic, multi-cultural family.

Act I 
Scene I
On August 15th I got to the airport in St. Thomas and learned the plane coming from Atlanta had been delayed, which meant it would arrive late to St. Thomas, which meant it would be late returning to Atlanta, which meant I would miss my connecting flight to San Antonio. The lady who to took care of me at check-in assured me I'd get a flight out of Atlanta the morning of the 16th and that the airline would put me up for the night.

Scene II
There was a most gorgeous sunset as we flew across the ocean and traveled up the Florida coast. The massive clouds were painted golden-yellow with streaks of orange and red while rays of sunlight shot upwards from behind the clouds, a giant fan of light.

Scene III
Coming into Atlanta, off to the southwest, a huge thunder storm was in progress. The clouds were lit up by massive flashes of lighting. It was better than fireworks at Disneyland.

Act II
Scene I
Once on the ground in Atlanta I asked a lady at the gate what I had to do next and was politely told where I had to go and to whom I had to speak. I followed her directions and secured my next day's boarding pass and a voucher for a hotel room and was told how to find the shuttle that would take me to the hotel. "Don't be afraid to ask anyone for help," the lady told me. On the way there, just to make sure, I did ask help from a young woman who walked me to where I needed to go.

Scene II
The shuttle driver took my bag and I, along with others, were loaded into a small bus and taken to the hotel. A handsome young man with a beautiful smile whizzed back and forth behind the counter in a wheel chair, checked us in and give us our room keys. I asked when I needed to get myself to the airport to catch my morning flight. He suggested 6 AM "To be on the safe side. The shuttle leaves every 15 minutes so if you're downstairs by 5:30/quarter to 6 you'll be fine." I was given a large comfortable room and though I had only 5 hours of sleep, it was a good sleep.

Scene III
I left a tip on the bed for the maid and went to drop off the key. The same young man who’d checked me in whizzed out from a side room to greet me with his beautiful smile. “You’re still here?” I asked. He laughed. “I think live here sometimes!” By 5:30 I was waiting for the shuttle to take me to the airport. A few others were waiting as well. A cheery older gentleman soon showed up, greeted us all and loaded our bags. Inside the shuttle soft, smooth jazz was playing.

Scene I
I had a precheck boarding pass so I got to avoid the long lines through security. Even so, my carry-on was pulled aside after being x-rayed. An older man was training a young man. They had spotted my baggy of sand. Even though they knew it was sand, the older man question the young man on what the procedure was when encountering something like that. The young man politely asked me to refrain from putting my hands anywhere near my bag. He removed the baggy, opened it, tested it and, finding it to be benign, returned it to where he gotten it. He apologized for the inconvenience. I told him I was happy to help with his training. I was then told how to get to my gate.

Scene II
It was, by this time, barely 6 AM. Walking to my gate I stopped at a restaurant, thinking to have breakfast and was told they wouldn't be open until 6:30. I continued on to my gate and outside through the large plate glass windows a brilliant, golden sunrise blazed in the sky. I felt calm and peaceful about everything. Life was good, my journey uneventful despite the delay, and people had been friendly and helpful.

Scene III
There was no one else at the gate when I sat down to wait for the restaurant to open. I didn't think about where I sat, I simply picked a seat. And there, hanging from the ceiling in front of me was a TV screen. Blaring from the screen were horrible images of hate with people screaming horrible words of hate and bigotry. I'd seen some images on facebook, but I hadn't seen any "news" as I'd pretty much been without TV for a month. Something inside me broke. In a flash, tears welled up in my eyes and I began to sob. I couldn't control it. I happen to have a napkin and pressed it to my eyes trying to staunch the flow. But they wouldn't stop coming. How could there be such people? How could they believe as they believed? How could they say such things? Where was the compassion for our fellow humans? How could this be happening in America? My heart was breaking and my soul being torn. In Bob Dylan's words, "Insanity is smashin' up against my soul."

Act IV
Scene I
So there I was, quietly sobbing into a napkin, trying not to cry out loud and make a scene when, from across the other side of the terminal, a woman approached. She stopped about 10 or 15 feel away from me and asked, "Ma'am, are you okay?" I looked up at her and without hesitation said, "No." Pointing at the TV I said through tears, "I don't understand it. It's breaking my heart, my soul is aching. I can't believe this is happening." And so the conversation began. We talked for a good half-hour, about life and how "those people" on the TV were a small minority making a lot a noise. That most of us, and she indicated me, the people working at the airport and the travelers, were just trying to live their lives in peace. She told me she not only worked full time for the airline, but was a nurse and owned a business, that her own family was multi-racial and that "those people" weren't worthy of the ground they walked on. 
Scene II
Did I mention she was a black lady? I told her I'd grown up in the Virgin Islands, in a white minority. That it was a multi-racial, multi-cultural, multi-ethnic environment that, for the most part, was and is, extraordinarily tolerant and accepting of diversity and that I couldn't wrap my head around the news. She told me a story of how, on the day Trump was elected, a white man felt emboldened to be rude and called her a black fat-assed bitch. This, to an attractive slender woman in her late 30s, early 40s, with long braids pulled together that hung down to her waist. In response to him she looked around and asked the man who he was speaking to? And he said he was talking to her. She then asked what gave him the right to speak to her in that manner. And he said, "Now that Trump's been elected, it's called free speech." After he left she was so shaken she had to move to another department for a few days to calm down. I asked her how she handled it, how she dealt with the hatred. She told me every morning she gets up and thinks rainbows and puts rainbows around people. We talked about so much. Like how she thought we'd already been through this and it was like going backwards in time. How I'd lived through the 60s and the Civil Rights Movement and the riots and it was like going back in time. But finally the moment came when she had to get back to work. I thanked her for talking with me. “I would do the same for anyone I saw in distress.” We hugged, and held each other for several long seconds. I wished her a most blessed day and year and watched her walk away, my life forever changed. As I told my sister, I will not be tolerant of intolerance. (An oxymoron for sure.) I know in my heart, if I see or hear intolerance within my sphere of existence that I will not be able to keep my mouth shut that I will have to speak up and defend what is right. Nazi salutes and intolerance towards human beings different from ourselves is WRONG, PERIOD.

Did I tell you that EVERY SINGLE PERSON I dealt with, from the lady in the St. Thomas airport to the lovely man at the hotel to the flight attendant who greeted me as I boarded the plane to San Antonio, was black? And EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, was kind, courteous, helpful, and friendly.

That is the Real America.

Pictures of diversity from other class reunions. 
The smiles on our faces are genuine. We always have a blast when we get together, picking up where we left off, as if we'd been separated only a few days rather than years.

Not long after this post, Hurricanes Irma and Maria devastated the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. Three years later (just last month) my sister FINALLY got a FEMA tarp for her damaged roof. She is still without electricity and continues to wait patiently for the day when materials and contractors will be available so she can get her home repaired.

Being Thankful
Today I'm thankful for diversity.
And for rainbows. 
Let's put rainbows around each other, even those with whom we have a problem.

What are you thankful for?


  1. Oh Bish,
    Your post touched my heart. Really it did. All blood bleeds red.

  2. That guy who insulted her was way off - not what free speech means at all.

    I'm a member of the only multi-racial church in our county and we are all brothers and sisters of God. I don't see it any other way. It really is a tiny, tiny ugly minority that does.

  3. You were lucky to grow up in such a paradise. And I know it has shaped you and your writing. Being a hobby writer is really wonderful. That's my humble opinion. I mean what a great way to fill out your already very full life?

  4. I grew up in Japan where I was often the only white kid in a sea of Japanese. Didn't bother me or them. We were all humans.

  5. That was a wonderful read, Bish, thank you.
    We have the same, yet different problems in the UK with intolerance - of just about anybody - at present, yet when you get down to it, most people are kind, and willing to help a stranger.
    In fact as the book Humankind shows, we are being misled by the media, and always have been, to think that the majority are mean-spirited, cruel and ignorant. And of course those in power encourage it, because it keeps them in power.
    I hope you have a wonderful 51st reunion instead.

  6. I hope the Covid Era is soon over, done, finished, kaput. Stay safe and stay positive. I also hope it's not another three years before you are able to return to your beloved islands. Here's hoping for next year!

  7. I'm thankful for diversity, too, and I also come from a multi-racial family. We just can't be tolerant of intolerance - I agree with you.

  8. I literally have shivers at reading this, Bish. It was truly moving. I hate all the hate coming out currently. This is not the America I admired growing up in Canada, nor the America I loved when I immigrated here. But, as your story shows, there are a lot of good people everywhere. My hope is that we start coming together and healing as a country. I hope that you can return home soon. I would love to visit your beautiful islands!

  9. As long as you write whenever you can, you're a writer :-) The colour of your skin doesn't matter: it's what's in your heart that counts.

    Ronel visiting on IWSG day Revamp Your Backlist

  10. I'm like you and write as a hobby. That must be so hard to not be able to travel to visit your family for so long. I hope you can go in 2021.

  11. Thank you for sharing this. One of my biggest fears for my children is that they will grow up thinking this hate is normal. I have wanted to get them out of the South, even out of US if necessary, from before they were born. They are both so young, and one is autistic, so finding the best way to teach them is a constant concern. I grew up in Little Rock, where white flight has caused so much damage. I do not want my children to grow up in a segregated world. I am glad you were able to have a conversation about this with another person. It is a symbol of hope.

  12. What a great story. There are angels everywhere, and not all of us are lucky to meet them. That woman was obviously an angel.

    One of the things I try to teach my kids is that you cannot judge an entire group by the actions of a few. That's prejudice, racist, bias, etc. In addition, a-holes are everywhere. Don't let the a-holes define a group of people. Don't give them that privilege. They're just a-holes and it's best to ignore them. And last, stand up for those who can't stand for themselves, because these a-holes will pick on the weakest. I'm not saying that the woman was weak, but if it were a large man who was ready to fight, I'm sure the a-hole would think twice.

    Love the photos. Adds such a nice layer to your story. Thanks for sharing your experience. I love stories like these. I wish you many more reunions!

  13. My heart ached for what you went through while waiting for your plane. How kind of the woman to stop and ask how you were then stayed to help you settle. I'm frightened of what our country has become. Terrified when people think they can kidnap & kill our governor and be proud of it. 2020 has been a very bad year. Hopefully, 2021 will be better. Hugs.

  14. Crumbs Bish - what a story ... but I can believe everyone was so helpful people are just amazing ... this year: let's hope 2021 bodes better for us all.

    Love the photos and seeing your family ... I do hope your sister and friends on the Island can get life back to normal sometime soon ... with thoughts - Hilary


Your Random Thoughts are most welcome!