Thing 1 and Thing 2

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It was the summer we were eleven and twelve that my cousin JohnJohn and I were christened Thing 1 and Thing 2. It all started because my sister, Erva, and JohnJohn's sister, Frances, kept harassing us.

I'm sure you can easily get the picture. They were older, wiser girls. They knew everything. There wasn't a thing we could do that they couldn't do better. They whispered and giggled behind our backs and we were sure they were whispering and giggling about us. They ordered us around.

There came a point when we decided enough was enough. JohnJohn, being twelve, took the lead. 

One night Erva and Frances were getting all dressed up to go out. Their hair had been in curlers most of the day. Thick ruffled petticoats made of scratchy nylon net were shaken out. Two inch white pumps were checked for scuffs and polished. Modest amounts of make-up was being applied.

It was a big deal.

Step one was getting Erva's attention and luring her into JohnJohn's room. As she opened his door a paper cup full of water fell on her head. Oh, she was furious and near tears. Her hair was ruined! How could we!

We, of course, were laughing with delight, ecstatic that the plan had worked. We also raced out of the house to avoid being smacked on the rear by an irate 15-year-old. We danced around and kicked up our heels in the back yard.

Erva's coif wasn't completely ruined and my Aunt Ninina, after reprimanding me and JohnJohn, made what repairs she could. But her hair was not exactly what she had hoped it would be.

However the night was young. We still had to get back at Frances.

Back then in Puerto Rico there were plenty of huge bullfrogs, as large as my two hands. They were all over the back yard. After the girls left for the party JohnJohn and I gathered up at least a half dozen of the monsters and put them in a paper bag. We put the bag on Frances's bed.

We were sound asleep when screams echoed through the house. Everyone got up. Frances had gotten into bed only to discover a large wet area and, on my god! a frog had somehow gotten under the top sheet and she had touched it with her feet.

Frances hated frogs, particularly those great huge beasts. And these guys had peed their way out of the paper bag and were hopping all around her bedroom. We found them among the shoes, under the bed,  and trying to hide in various other places. The sheets had to be changed and the mattress turned....

And that's when JohnJohn and I won the title of Thing 1 and Thing 2. Thank you very much. It was the beginning of my journey into being The Rotten Kid.

Here we are a few years ago. Thing 1 and Thing 2. The Cat in the Hat remains my favorite Dr. Seuss book.

Where you ever given the name of a character from a book?